When a doctor told me I had two years to live, I didn’t accept that as a final verdict. I asked a different question: How can I turn this death sentence into a life sentence? That question reshaped everything. Thirteen years later, after losing a foot and then a leg to cancer, I still wake up wanting to put goodness, positivity, and purpose back into the world.

Early lessons: mindset forged in sport and crisis

I grew up in a sports family. My brothers and I played college basketball and baseball, and early on I learned what focus, discipline, and intensity feel like. Those lessons carried into a career as a police officer and SWAT hostage negotiator. High-stakes situations teach you one simple truth: your life truly happens between your two ears. It is not what happens to you but how you react to it.

“Your life is really what happens between your two ears.”

That mindset prepared me for the hardest opponent I ever faced—cancer. Facing repeated surgeries, treatments, and amputations forced me to find meaning in the middle of suffering. When you can’t do what you used to be good at, you have to do what’s important.

Reframing suffering: find purpose in the pain

When doctors handed down a bleak prognosis, I decided not to be defined by timelines. Instead of thinking, “How long will I live?” I asked, “What should I be doing with the time I have?” Purpose became the antidote to despair.

That purpose shifted my attention from the limits of my body to what I could give. I started speaking, writing, and encouraging others. I discovered that in many cases, adversity is the true teacher that shows you who you are.

“I have done more living in the thirteen years that I’ve been dying of cancer than I did in my entire life.”

The three Fs that kept me grounded

When everything is unstable, I lean on three anchors I call the three Fs: faith, family, and friends.

Faith: Prayer and trust gave me perspective when medical outcomes looked impossible. There were times I was angry with God, and times I just asked for help. Both were honest parts of relationship.
Family: Having something to live for—seeing a daughter graduate, walking someone down an aisle—gives energy and a reason to keep fighting.
Friends: Community matters. We are not built to succeed in isolation. People who care about you will push you further than you can go alone.

What sustainable excellence really means

When I wrote my book Sustainable Excellence, people asked me to define excellence. My answer is simple: excellence is personal. What looks excellent to one person might not to another. The key is choosing what excellence means for you and then refusing to get complacent.

Two practices keep excellence sustainable:

Constant innovation: Don’t rest on past wins. Keep learning and adding value.
Right people: It is more important who you work with and who you work for than the work itself. Hitch your wagon to people who truly care and invest in each other.

“It’s more important who you work with and who you work for than it is the work that you do.”

Think with your mind, not with fear

One of the most damaging habits is letting fear and insecurity make decisions for you. Fear says: what if you fail, what will people think, are you smart enough? Those are opinions from the insecure mind. Use your mind instead. If something in your heart scares you but calls to you, do it. At the end of life we regret what we didn't do, not what we tried.

When I speak to young people, I tell them this bluntly: if a calling is in your heart, take the uncomfortable step. Regret is far heavier than temporary fear.

The rat story: hope stretches endurance

Here’s one of my favorite lessons about resilience. In an experiment at Johns Hopkins in the 1950s, researchers put rats in water and timed how long they could tread water. The first time, the average rat lasted about fifteen minutes. Just as they were ready to drown, the researchers pulled them out, dried them, and let them rest.

When those same rats were put back in the tank later, the average time skyrocketed to sixty hours. Two lessons emerge:

Hope matters: Knowing a rescue might come extends endurance.
Bodies and minds can take far more than we think: Most of us quit long before our true breaking point.

When life gets unbearably hard, you don’t have to stop. Put one foot in front of the other and keep moving. Small steps compound into surprising strength.

Practical steps you can take right now

If you feel stuck—mentally, professionally, or spiritually—try this single actionable step:

Identify one small, uncomfortable action you have been avoiding because of fear.
Commit to doing it within the next 48 hours. Tell someone you trust so you have accountability.
After you do it, reflect on how much of your fear was anticipation and how much of your courage was real.

Other quick guidelines:

Find people who will champion you. Surround yourself with those who invest in your growth.
If a medical plan or life decision doesn’t feel right, get another opinion. You are entitled to clarity.
Keep a purpose list—things you want to see, do, or be. Revisit it when your energy wanes.

How spirituality evolved through the battle

My faith has been honest and raw. There were times I yelled at God. There were times I begged for relief. But that honesty deepened my relationship rather than undermining it. I believe that pain can be used for good—even if the meaning is not immediately clear. If your suffering can be turned into service, it becomes fuel.

Final thoughts

If your life feels heavy, remember these essentials:

You have more capacity to endure than you realize.
Purpose transforms pain into hope and action.
Faith, family, and friends are powerful anchors in the storm.
Think with your mind, not with fear.

“When it’s hurting, when it’s uncomfortable, when you don’t think you can go on, just put one foot in front of the other, keep moving forward.”

If you want to explore more resources, reflections, and ways to stay motivated, visit motivationalcheck.com. Your story matters. How you handle your adversity could be the very thing that inspires someone else to keep going.

From Cancer to Courage: Turning a Death Sentence Into a Life of Purpose