We often treat success as a straight line of ideas plus action. Study hard, outwork the market, execute the plan — and results follow. That story is true to a point, but it leaves a huge part of human experience out: the emotional life that underpins every thought and every action. What I call the Third Element is that missing piece. When we learn to feel and clear old emotions, our external world begins to change — often quickly and unexpectedly.

The three elements that shape our reality

Everything we experience can be grouped into three elements:

Thinking — the mind, information, planning, and strategy.
Body — the physical world, our actions, and material reality.
Emotions — the energetic, timeless layer that amplifies or blocks what we attract.

Most personal growth focuses on the first two. We learn to think smarter and act better. That works, but it only gets us so far. Emotions are bigger than time and space; they carry a resonance that calls similar experiences toward us. If painful feelings remain stored in the body, they will keep creating reminders — small and then larger — until they are processed and released.

“Everything in life is a mirror. Look at yourself.”

That simple insight changed everything for me. Instead of blaming others for problems at work or home, I started asking what I was resonating and attracting. The answers were not in more logic; they were in the body.

Why emotions, not just mindset, drive manifestation

Minds think in past and future; they rarely live in the felt present. Thinking can design a plan, but thought alone cannot move old emotional charge through the body. You cannot think your way out of grief, shame, or deep-seated longing. Those energies need to be felt and completed in a safe space, otherwise they cling to you and keep calling for reminders.

From a physics perspective, resonance explains this: like attracts like. Emotions vibrate. Unprocessed pain will attract scenarios that mirror that vibration until the energy is cleared. Conversely, the energy of feeling good and of cleared emotional space attracts better experiences. So emotion is not soft or optional. It is an energetic lever that shifts what shows up in your life.

Stories that show the Third Element in action

One clear moment for me came after a four-day communication retreat. I had been frustrated with people around me for months, trying to become “more competent” to earn approval I never received. On the third day of the retreat I finally felt a long-buried pain: a comment made 12 years earlier that had shaped my behavior. I cried, felt the shame and loss, and released it fully.

Four days after I returned to work, the people who had been “incompetent” either began performing well or left. Cause and effect became unmistakable. The emotional clearing changed the resonance of my life and the world responded.

Another example involved a CEO whose son struggled with addiction. The CEO felt disconnected and helpless. The breakthrough came when he stopped trying to fix his son and instead felt his own pain about the loss and fear. Once he fully processed his emotions, his ability to connect with his son shifted — and so did his son’s behavior. Processing the internal mirror changed the external relationship.

And on a smaller scale, a neighbor conflict taught me the same lesson. Choosing to respond from a place of love and to genuinely find a gift in the challenge dissolved the hostility. It was not magic. It was shifting the internal field so the external field could change.

Practical steps to feel, release, and attract better

Emotional work does not have to be dramatic to be effective. Here are concrete practices you can begin today:

Write down your challenges. Getting the story out of your head and onto paper reduces the mind's loop and reveals the emotions beneath.
Breathe and sense. Pause, breathe deeply, and scan your body. Notice heat, tightness, or pressure. Name the feeling. Naming creates distance from automatic reactivity.
Use somatic methods. EFT tapping, breathwork, movement, massage, or even hitting a cushion can help move stuck energy.
Journal into the feeling. Ask “what is this feeling about?” and follow it deeper rather than analyzing it from the head.
Practice gratitude and small noticing. Slow the mind by listing tiny wonders — a flower in concrete, the sound of rain. This shifts your vibration immediately.
Find a safe container. Work with a coach, therapist, or trusted guide who can hold space while you feel.

There’s no single method that fits everyone. In my book I outline multiple exercises so you can experiment and find what works for you. Start small, build faith with results, and the willingness to dive deeper increases naturally.

Leading from emotional clarity

Business success is often framed as logic plus hustle. That misses an opportunity. Leaders who learn to manage their inner field create environments where people feel supported, seen, and willing to contribute their best.

Here are practical habits for leaders who want to integrate emotional grounding without losing drive:

Be on your own path. You do not need to be perfectly healed, but you must be doing the work and aware of your triggers.
Listen before responding. When someone speaks, pause. Let them finish. Ask questions. When people feel heard, creativity and ownership follow.
Mirror and validate. Reflect one or two words back to show you heard them; then offer a solution or boundary if needed.
Serve your team. Lead as service. When team members feel you are invested in their success, they show up differently.
Create belonging. Recognize contributions publicly. Help people see that they matter and their ideas are part of the mission.

These practices take time and patience, but the return on emotional investment is massive: stronger teams, clearer decisions, and higher performance rooted in trust.

Begin today: two simple steps

If you feel stuck, disconnected, or burned out, try this starter plan:

Write down one or two challenges that keep repeating in your life. Be specific. Put the story on paper to free your mind.
Tell yourself this truth: you are deserving of love, wonder, and success. Say it until you feel it in your chest. Let that feeling settle and expand.

From there, add five minutes of breathwork, a gratitude list, or a short body scan. These tiny habits compound. The objective is not to silence your emotions but to meet them, move them, and make room for better energy to enter.

Final note

The Third Element is an invitation: to stop treating emotions as optional baggage and start using them as the lever they are. When you learn to feel what lives in your body and complete those feelings, the law of attraction stops delivering reminders and starts delivering what you truly want. That shift unlocks not just personal fulfillment but new ways of leading, creating, and loving. You can begin with one honest sentence on a piece of paper and the willingness to breathe into what you find there.

If you want to explore further, the body of work I share includes practical exercises, case studies, and step-by-step processes designed to help you clear old energy and create a life that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside. For resources and updates, visit randyman.com.

Randy Lyman — The Third Element: Emotions as the Missing Key to Manifestation, Leadership, and Lasting Change